Tag: Family
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We’re Related Now (But I Still Don’t Know What to Call You)
Now that we have in-law children, we also have in-law families: parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, both related and honorary. What we lack is an easy way to refer to all of them. As I’m anticipating hosting the extended branches of our family for the holidays, I have teasingly called them “the in-laws and…
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The Great Zucchini Debate
Some Families Debate Politics, We Argue Over Vegetables “Look at the size of this one!” Many summer memories on my in-laws’ farm featured Dad emerging triumphant from the garden, holding an enormous zucchini aloft. Mom, on the porch, admired and exclaimed over the gigantic harvest, declaring each time that surely this is the biggest zucchini…
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33 Lessons from Marriage
Every anniversary is a milestone Milestones mark significant points along a journey. In the case of marriage, the “milestone” anniversaries are generally the decades, or the quarter or half centuries. But I prefer to believe every anniversary is a milestone. After all, each year represents 365 more days of mutual commitment to the institution…
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The Toothpaste Test
Living in harmony starts with the toothpaste test As another wedding anniversary looms I find myself thinking back to those early years of learning to live together in harmony. The difference between deciding to marry and living everyday life together is like fishing for sardines and landing a 100-pound halibut. The reality is so much…
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Memories Hide Within the Clutter
Why do we keep the stuff we keep? I alternately wage war and make peace with the clutter in my house. Occasionally my tolerance of “stuff” reaches critical mass and I go on a rampage against it. In those moods I’m determined to minimalize, simplify, de-acquire. But my clutter is sneaky. It knows how…
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The Huge Boss, the Small Boss, and Dogs That Don’t Listen
Some days, I just want to be the huge boss Our family roles have been defined since my son’s preschool days. According to his 4-year-old reckoning, Dad is the huge boss and I am the small boss. Since this pronouncement happened over 20 years ago, I can only guess at the criteria my son…
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Turning Outlaws into In-Laws
Saying “I do” doesn’t immediately make you family. Turning outlaws into in-laws isn’t easy, because marrying into a family and joining a family are two different things. Marriage is a moment, but joining is a journey. I’ve witnessed this phenomenon in our own family as the nieces and nephews begin to tie the knot.…
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Failure to Negotiate
Too Chicken to Haggle Over Chickens The root of most marital arguments is failure to communicate. In my marriage, it’s failure to negotiate. That’s because I married a man with the soul of a horse trader, while I possess the heart of a chicken. He relishes negotiating the numbers, but I abhor haggling. Our most…
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Like the Back of My Hand
How well do you really know the back of your hand? I know a lot of things about my husband after 31 years of marriage. You might say I know him like the back of my hand. But apparently, one thing I don’t know about him is actually… the back of his hand. We…
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The Nickname Game
Choosing Your Own Nickname is Harder Than You Think. We are planning a big trip with four generations of family. In addition to making memories of a lifetime, this trip provides great opportunity to embarrass the children. I’m talking family sing-alongs, group pictures at every restaurant, and matching T-shirts in neon colors. With family nicknames…