Sweating the Small Stuff

Sometimes it’s the little things that get you

I’ve always thought of myself as a flexible person, one who goes with the flow, and doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Apparently, I am delusional. Because some small stuff really does make me sweat.

 

Here’s the list of my top five:

#1 – Unmade beds

With dogs, kids and two working parents, our housekeeping style is like our cable subscription – on demand and able to be paused till later. A pile of unsorted mail doesn’t send me into hysterics, nor does a dish drainer full of recyclables or a stack of DVDs on the end table. (Although I do appreciate the times when I get ahead of the clutter.) There are always doggie nose prints on my windows, and you can occasionally play tic-tac-toe in the dust on the mantle. So be it. In most domestic matters, I don’t sweat the small stuff. However, bed making is a must for me.

 

Productivity gurus contend that making your bed as soon as you get up starts your day with an accomplishment. But that’s not my issue. It’s the end of the day I care about. When bedtime hits, I simply cannot stand to climb into an unmade bed. Disheveled comforters, rumpled sheets and pillows still indented from the previous night hold no promise of rest. If my bed looks like the aftermath of an alligator death roll I will not drift tranquilly to sleep in it. So I’ll make that bed before bed, even if I get in it 30 seconds later.

 

#2 – Toilet paper orientation

To my mind, there is a right way and a wrong way to load the toilet paper on the spindle. The free end should be readily visible over the top of the roll, not hidden underneath. Fumbling under a mega-roll of Charmin to find the loose end is a waste of time, especially when there’s a line waiting for the restroom. But top-load the toilet paper and the whole potty stop proceeds with speed and efficiency.

 

And while we’re on the subject, how hard is it to loosen the first square when replacing the roll? Nothing annoys me more than spinning the roll repeatedly while trying to scrape the glued end loose. In addition to the lint under my nails, I inevitably tear a partial layer and end up with two yards of toilet paper strips before getting to a whole usable square. Some people would tell me to be grateful just to have toilet paper at all, but there’s nothing wrong with setting a higher standard.

 

#3 – Loading the dishwasher

Just as with the TP, there is a right way and a wrong way to load a dishwasher. The right way optimizes the number of dirty dishes that fit in and minimizes the number that must be washed by hand. (Or, must sit in a heap in the sink until the current load is finished and a new load can be run.) Strategically spacing the silverware, plates, pots and cookie sheets ensures everything gets clean in one cycle.

 

Nothing brings out my inner control freak like a helpful houseguest stacking my dishwasher. It’s not the heat in the kitchen causing the perspiration on my forehead, but the co-mingled bowls and plates, and Top Rack Only dishware on the bottom that has me sweating the small stuff. Did anyone but me realize that the 13 items awaiting hand washing could be swapped for the one crockpot occupying half the rack?

 

#4 – Crumbs in the butter

I like buttered toast as much as the next person, but I have no desire to share “toasted” butter with the last person. If you must go back for an additional helping from the butter dish, at least wipe the knife off first. With a little practice, you can spread multiple pats of butter on your toast without transferring crumbs back to the butter dish. That goes likewise for the peanut butter.

 

A word of caution: don’t lick the knife in lieu of wiping it. Double dipping your spit-cleaned utensil in my butter is no longer considered the small stuff, and I will do more than sweat over it.

 

#5 – Crooked pictures

This one is a public service announcement for my husband, who simply cannot walk by a crooked picture without straightening it. (He says our world is skewed enough without adding wall décor to the list.) It’s not difficult to level one picture hung on a wire on the wall. Alligator toothed hangers are a bit trickier, but still manageable. But place several pictures on the same wall, and he’s sweating the small stuff. Crooked is now compounded by the demands of centered, plumb and level. Suddenly, there’s a lot more measuring required to get each frame straight and balanced. And might I suggest you mark a trial position in pencil before pounding a nail in the wall?

 

So that’s my list – are you nodding in support or rolling your eyes in judgment? Or simply agreeing that I’m delusional? What small stuff do you sweat over? ‘Fess up in the comments below.