It’s Not Easy Going Green

Kermit the Frog was more right than we knew

Throughout my childhood, Kermit the Frog lamented that it’s not easy being green. But while Kermit eventually figured it out (he does have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame after all), I’m still struggling to reach that verdant state. In fact, going green in my household sometimes gives me the blues.

Going green has many meanings

Part of the problem is that today’s culture ascribes multiple meanings to the phrase “going green.” To the environmentalists, the term means reducing our carbon footprint. Financial counselors use it to advocate cash-based living. And nutritionists tout greener eating as the way to health and longevity.

Philosophically, I have no problem with recycling instead of adding to the landfill. But practically, my dish drainer is perpetually stacked with clean recyclable containers. They sit there, waiting for someone to transfer them to the recycling bin (which is on the basement landing approximately eight steps away). And when the recycling bin is full, it sits there waiting for someone to haul it out for proper disposal. If I actually remembered to take my bottles to the store to redeem, I would not need a rainy day vacation fund. Or a 401K.

As much as I admire those who use cash only, I don’t personally go green when it comes to stocking my wallet. For reasons I can’t explain, those greenbacks simply evaporate in my purse. Now that the kids have moved out the phenomenon has decreased. But if I’m carrying cash, those Abes and Georges leap out of their own volition whenever I pass a Starbucks. Plastic money keeps me much more accountable to my budget.

It’s not easy eating green

Eating green is the biggest struggle at our house. For one thing, we can’t all agree on an acceptable list of green foodstuffs for our plates and palates. My kids were never fond of peas, and lettuce made them gag. So broccoli became our go-to green veggie. (But once they left for college, hubby shared that he never really cared for broccoli and could I please remove it from the menu.)

Likewise, Brussels sprouts are out, although spinach and asparagus make the cut. Zucchini is iffy, and greatly depends on its teammates for acceptance into the game day lineup. We’ll do the big Z in stir fry, parmesan’d or grated into a quick bread, but steamed and seasoned, or “raw naturale” gets benched for the duration. Ditto for cooked green beans; that aversion dates back to an unfortunate incident in the high school cafeteria.

So what’s a desperate cook to do to get her family to eat more greens? I took a hint from a clever nutritionist and made the family help with meal prep to bolster their interest in greener foods.

So much for that. We had mint chocolate chip ice cream drizzled with crème de menthe syrup and topped with mint M&Ms.