The Dog Spoon

Don’t judge me by the utensils I use.

The first time I met my prospective in-laws I really wanted to make a good impression. Instead, I scandalized them by using the wrong spoon. It wasn’t a breach of etiquette. I’m not some ditzy debutante who can’t navigate a formal place setting. I was helping prepare dinner and needed to stir the pot on the stove. I reached into the kitchen drawer and retrieved an innocuous-looking spoon. The horrified looks from my future family clued me in that I had committed a serious faux pas. Or perhaps a mortal sin. It seemed I was making gravy with The Dog Spoon.

Apparently, The Dog Spoon was a highly specialized utensil used solely to prepare the dog’s dinner. This struck me as a bit pretentious. Although I had no experience with farm dogs, I had often been responsible for feeding my family’s dog. I knew my way around a can of Alpo. In my kitchen you used whatever cutlery, Popsicle stick or ice cream scoop was handy when it came time to feed the dog. Then, you treated that implement to the miracle of modern plumbing and good ol’ Palmolive dish soap. The utensil emerged perfectly cleansed, sanitized, and disinfected for the next use.

What’s the fuss?

I really didn’t see the reason for the fuss over using The Dog Spoon, and tried to reassure the family that the gravy was unaffected. They gaped at me as though I had suggested we fill the water glasses from the toilet bowl. Embarrassed, I turned back to the stove and removed the offending spoon from the pot. Behind me, I heard the low murmur of consultation. But I didn’t know if it was in reference to the now-tainted gravy or me. Had I just blown my chance at a lifetime of happy relationship with my in-laws?

Thankfully, they decided the meal could proceed, and nothing more was said. The gravy boat joined the other dishes on the table. In gratitude, I made sure to ladle an extra spoonful onto my plate. After dinner, I helped with the dishes, and personally scrubbed The Dog Spoon to as pristine a shine as I could manage. Mama-in-law gave me an encouraging smile, and took the spoon to begin fixing the dog’s dinner.

A new respect for the dog spoon

First she scooped a coffee can full of kibble from the big bag in the kitchen closet. Then she fetched another coffee can from under the sink, set it on the counter and removed the plastic lid. Wielding The Dog Spoon, she dipped into the can and dolloped a big glob of coagulated bacon grease onto the dry dog food in the bowl. She ran hot water over it, and then stirred the whole mess into a homogenous mush with – you guessed it – The Dog Spoon.

Suddenly, I regretted that extra spoonful of gravy.

Perhaps having a utensil solely for feeding the dog isn’t so pretentious after all.