A New Approach to New Year’s Resolutions

Reality never matches the ambition of New Year’s resolutions.

Each January 1^st I channel my inner optimist and set goals for improving myself in the coming year. In reality, my New Year’s resolutions become a To Do list for the month of January. Like my favorite football team, my new routines and healthier habits barely survive through the NFL playoffs, and usually fall apart completely by Super Bowl Sunday. Still, despite my lack of success, I ambitiously compile my list of resolutions each New Year’s Day.

A Change of Perspective

This year I’m trying a new approach. Since I’m my own worst critic, I tend to pile too many expectations into my resolutions. So I’m going change my perspective. I’m going to consider resolutions my kids might make for me. No need to poll them; I’ll be guided by the habits that promote the most eye rolling. But, I think I’ll include my suggestions for their resolutions lists too.

Mom’s Resolution #1

Renounce my identity as a multi-tasker. The kids believe that I cannot do more than one thing at a time. I don’t always remember to switch their laundry over when I’m also cleaning every toilet in the house, shredding the junk mail and scrubbing out the dog bowls. They claim I get distracted when I browse through cookbooks and check kitchen inventory while trying to create my grocery list. I end up cleaning cupboards, purging the pantry and alphabetizing the spice cabinet, while dinner is omelets or takeout because I never made it to the store.

My suggestion #1: Practice asking, “How can I help?” And be grateful there’s dinner at all.

Mom’s Resolution #2

Stay current with technology. I admit it has taken a long time for my Kindle to earn the affection I bestow on my beloved print books. Choosing the right TV remote and input for Netflix is like an electronic version of the shell game. I don’t Tweet. I type full sentences (with proper punctuation) in my texts. I’m not on Instagram because I can’t take a decent selfie. And I still write letters in longhand. However, I will consider learning to Venmo instead of handing out twenties when the kids come home to visit.

My suggestion #2: Use that smartphone to actually call your mother and have a live conversation occasionally. She enjoys hearing your voice. And do not add bunny noses to pictures you post of the woman who gave you life.

Mom’s Resolution #3

Recognize that the children are now adults and have the ability to manage their own lives. Believe me, I am well aware. Through the grace of God, years of prayer, and the love and affirmation of a village of family and friends, my kids have grown into amazing adults. But a mother’s protective instinct does not simply dissolve when the children come of age. It is still my prerogative to care, ask questions, and even to worry.

Which leads to my suggestion #3: Share your agenda and your plans with your mother. Don’t make me guess.

That will make my resolutions easier to keep.