How to Help Your Kids Find Suitable Spouses

“Mommy, I’m going to marry you when I grow up!”

My three-year-old son blurted out this declaration one night during his bedtime routine.

“Silly boy,” I said. “I’m already married to Daddy.” I went on to explain that God had someone else in mind for him. “Someday you will meet a girl who you will love even more than Mommy. She will think you’re special too, and will love you more than anybody else, and you will want to live with her for the rest of your life.”  

“Oh!” His face lit. “I’m going to marry Grandma!”

***

I’m not sure at what age the concept of suitable spouses becomes understandable, but clearly, the time was not yet. I muzzled any further explanations, thankful we had years to circle back to this issue. 

That little exchange remains fresh in my mind 27 years later, likely because it was the first nudge of reality that my kids would grow up and seek lives and loves of their own. Someone, who was not me, would catch their eye, and capture their heart. 

That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it?

The one thing I could do 

Every parent of small children has been gifted with the cliched advice to “enjoy them while you can, because these days will be gone in a blink.” Truth, despite the cliche. I’m sure I’ve only blinked twice, and yet suddenly I’m decades down the road from kissing their boo-boos and tucking them in.

In my prayer life, however, those same decades did not pass in a blink. Probably because there was so much to pray for. 

I prayed for every aspect of my children’s health, well-being, and growth. I prayed for them to know and love God, and to choose to follow Him in their own lives. For parenting wisdom to allow each child to thrive. And for us not to make irreparable mistakes.

And I prayed for their future spouses, whoever they were. 

 Trust their instincts

Two and a half blinks later, I was meeting my son’s prospective mother-in-law. We smiled tentatively at each other, trying to get a read on how we felt about becoming related. We soon realized we were mutual fans of each other’s children, and with that common ground, began to build our family bonds.

“How long have you been praying for your kids’ future spouses?” I asked her.

“Since I rocked them to sleep as babies,” she answered. 

Yeah, no wonder her girl captured my boy’s heart. And ours.

Then, quick as a wink, we acquired a new son-in-law, who thinks our daughter is more special than anyone in the world. He comes from an amazing family too, and we love him fiercely. 

And guess what? His mama has been praying for our girl since his nursery days.

And really, that’s all I wanted, isn’t it?