Gratitude Combats Midlife Crisis

 A Weekend of Milestones Prompts Gratitude, Not a Midlife Crisis

I laughingly told a friend that this weekend was a midlife crisis in the making as my son graduated from college and my daughter turned 21. But while these milestones are significant, they are by no means crisis inducing. If anything, seeing my children achieve these hallmarks of adulthood brings me a sense of deep satisfaction, as well as a not-insignificant feeling of relief.

It Takes a Village

I also feel an overwhelming gratitude to the people that have impacted my children’s journey to adulthood. A whole village of relatives, friends, teachers and church family lavished attention and encouragement on my kids. These people served as advisors, cheerleaders, prayer warriors and fairy godmothers. They supplemented the gaps in my parenting skills, stepping up to cover parallel parking, bargain hunting, hair and makeup tips, and the rules of lacrosse. They offered my kids home cooked meals, wise counsel and a sympathetic shoulder when mom was being unreasonable.

Additionally, these folks supported me as a parent. Some mentored me by sharing their own trials and triumphs in parenting. Others have been my sounding board, and still others my encouragers. They affirmed my instincts when I struggled with appropriate discipline and helped me choose which battles to fight. Together we swapped babysitting, recipes for picky eaters, taxi services, kids clothing and dorm refrigerators. We downed gallons of coffee trying to determine the next “best way forward” in the muddle of raising children. We worried and hoped and prayed together, and now they share this celebration with me.

The Investment of Family

Family has been an integral source of support too. Grandparents, in-laws and outlaws have shared stories of faith and family history. Aunts and uncles have sponsored sleepovers, picnics, pool parties and campfires. Cousins provided the first lessons in teamwork, unity and loyalty. Unconditional love was offered, accepted, and shared. Our memories anchor the family identity and preserve the legacy of what we value. Because of the investment from family, we know who we are, where we came from, and what we stand for.

We Are Never Done

Years ago a friend remarked at her child’s 9^th birthday party that she was “half-done” raising her. It struck me curiously at the time since we were so mired in parenting that we couldn’t even fathom an end to it. Are we ever done? At some point we launch them into the world, but we never cut them completely loose. They come back. Sometimes they need guidance, reassurance, or a respite from the stress of adult decision-making. Or perhaps just the loan of a twenty or two.

I am fiercely proud of my children and humbly grateful for those who contributed to the milestones they reached this weekend. Thank you to all who loved and prayed us this far. You can be proud of the kids we’ve raised…

…And the midlife crisis you’ve averted.